I have been putting off writing this blog all week. I had great ideas on Wednesday. Should have started then – I had just attended a two-day conference on aging that validated work I have been doing for decades, but I was just too tired from sitting in front of my computer all day listening to folks, so I didn’t start.

Then I had a flash of what to write on Thursday, which actually was a day that I had not scheduled too many other obligations, but once again, I found myself just sitting around. (Actually, I was laying around!)

Long-Covid Excuses

I have attributed these bouts of lethargy and fatigue to my long COVID, but there is a part of me that really wonders whether I have just started channeling my inner sloth. So, of course I had to do some online exploration of fatigue and long-COVID (there is a LOT!)

Upshot of doing all that reading and researching was I was too tired to put together the blog, and besides, it has been really, really cold here in Sonoma Valley, and the cold makes me just want to drink hot chocolate and watch Hallmark Christmas movies.

How Time Flies

I have been having trouble with my furnace blowing cold air instead of heating the house. Since I am not mechanically inclined and am much better at just complaining, I let the cats know how unfair it was that they got to wear their fur coats in the house all day long and I had to wrap myself up in down jackets, ear muffs and gloves. (Well, that is a bit of an exaggeration. I don’t have ear muffs and I can’t type in gloves, so I just turned my portable heater on and huddled close while feeling sorry for myself.

I had called my go-to furnace repair company, but (surprise!) they were busy answering calls from all the other hot-house flowers who aren’t used to this cold weather. They said they weren’t going to be able to get to me until next week.

Resigned to Suffering

Oh, let me tell you – I can do the martyr role unlike few others!  First words out of my mouth to those brave enough to talk to me were, “You won’t believe how cold it is in my house!”, which then led (quite quickly, by the way) to conversations about how high heating bills were, what the state of homelessness was and how lucky we were to just have a roof over our head, and how much of a donation we could afford to send to folks in Ukraine, who were, really, when you get right down to it, suffering so much more than we were!

Compassion does not do enough to raise my core temperature, so I succumbed to driving around in my car, heater on full blast, until I finally warmed up enough to come back home. Poor me!

Unexpected News!

So another day was lost to not getting the blog done, but Friday morning rolled around and the phone rang and I picked up, expecting to have to deal with a scam artist, someone selling me a burial plan or car warranty, when to my surprise, it turned out to be my furnace folks who had just got a cancellation and would I be around for the guys to stop by?

Didn’t hesitate for one second. “Send ‘em down!” I said, and then got to pulling all the junk from around where the furnace resided, sweeping away at least a decade’s worth of cobwebs, finding untold treasures to sell come June when we have the neighborhood garage sale, and finally creating a path to the furnace for the guys.

Later that Same Day

Well, bless those boys!  They were able to figure out why my furnace was blowing cold air (a clogged condensation pipe), put together a plan for fixing it, and then went ahead and did just that!  Lordy, what a wonderful experience to hear the fan turn on and feel the hot air!

Of course, after all that excitement and effort, I could not just sit down and write a blog. I had to take a nap!  And then I had to catch up on all the stuff I hadn’t done because I was waiting for the furnace to get fixed. So that whole day just slipped on by without one word committed to the page.

I Really Hate Being Late

Clock was ticking and I mean to tell you, I was feeling the pressure. On Saturday I set about putting my thoughts to the page and just couldn’t find my rhythm!  Fortunately, I had planned on having brunch with a friend, so went out for sustenance and came back feeling quite refreshed and well-fed.

We did a couple of errands after our meal – I needed to go to the hardware store and get some garage door lubricant and one of those lithium batteries. These little maintenance things just keep stacking up, so we took care of business before I came home.

Finally Putting Words on the Page

I still had a couple of things to do before I could get down to actually writing this week’s blog. I had cards to get sent out, a couple of gifts to wrap, and I hadn’t cleaned up from dinner last night.

I found a great new recipe for chickpea fries – gluten-free delights that I was trying out before bringing to a friend’s party. Well, the recipe is quite simple actually, but oh my, what a mess it left my kitchen. The fries were passable, but I wasn’t quite satisfied with the taste. I can just imagine presenting them to the “judges” on the Great British Baking Show and having Prue or Paul comment on their lack of taste.

Here We Are Again.

So, I cleaned up the pots and pans and then just sat down and realized that here we are again and I just don’t want to write anything this week!  Maybe it is a cumulative resistance to all the expectations.

Honestly, pretty much all of my friends are saying the same thing – “I am just not excited about the Holidays this year!”  So, you will just have to forgive me for not getting this week’s blog to you the way I would have liked.

Maybe next week will be better.

4 responses to “I DON’T WANNA!”

  1. nan sullivan Avatar
    nan sullivan

    ah, reality

  2. Berkeley Fuller-Lewis Avatar
    Berkeley Fuller-Lewis

    Mary, your effusive love of life always shines through, even in times of “tragi-comic” adversity! I too was gifted with an “annoyingly” happy disposition (not “Pollyanna” — just naturally joyous). Or — as a potential dating partner once said to me (before flouncing off, in an absolute rage): “Well – YOU just have the HAPPY gene.” How dare I, right?! (And likewise, “How dare YOU, Mary!”). BTW, a young waiter, having witnessed that “date’s” utterance, walked over to my table and cheerily announced to me: “Well, THAT was a real time saver, eh?” At which, we both cracked up. “Meanwhile, Happy Xmas!!!”

  3.  Avatar

    Well done , Mary. The saga of living, often dificult even challenging in ways small and great. You carried on in good spirit though I could hear the real distress. Even if not a tragedy, it was still hard. Gladness for the heating angels and your resilience. This blog was well worth waiting for and a reminder to your readers, thatr no matter what, stay awake to your procees. I am glad you had good friends who walked with you for part of it. Long Covid is just tough though you are learning to pace yourself. Hooray! Loving you, Barbara

  4. Millie Anderson Avatar

    I love the ‘inner sloth’!!

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