Have you ever wondered why reunions feel so magical? Or why that college friend you haven’t seen in decades immediately feels like family again? There’s something deeply human about coming together to remember shared times—and it turns out, these gatherings might be more essential than you think.
My 50th college reunion is coming up, and even though I am not going to be able to attend, I have enjoyed revisiting in my mind the glorious days of my youth. I’ve spoken with several classmates and caught up with them. That, in turn, has reawakened lots of memories of when the world was in a different place and life seemed rich with opportunity.
Reunions aren’t just nice-to-have social events—they’re powerful tools for connection, memory, and even planning for our future selves.
Why Reunions Matter More Than You Think
We humans are tribal by nature. Anthropologists have documented ancient gatherings at sacred sites all over the world, and modern events range from sports gatherings to concerts to State or County fairs. But here’s what makes reunions special: they don’t just create new memories—they reawaken old ones, strengthen emotional bonds, and sometimes help us rediscover parts of ourselves we’d forgotten.
Think about the last reunion you attended. What moment stands out most? Was it a shared laugh, a story someone told, or maybe just the feeling of being understood without having to explain your history? How did you feel in recalling that experience? How long did that feeling last?
Understanding How Memory Really Works
Here’s the thing about memories—they’re not perfect recordings. Sometimes they’re exaggerated over time, sometimes forgotten details get reawakened when someone else tells their version of the story. And you know what? That’s perfectly fine. The emotional connection is what matters most.
Picture this scenario: You’re at your reunion and someone starts telling a story about something you all did together. What is it that cues you into that story? A feeling, an image, perhaps even a sound or smell. These sensory triggers can open up entire libraries of memories that you may have “forgotten”. All of which contributes to reinforcing that memory and hopefully, putting a smile on your face!
Why This Matters Even More as We Age
Boomer’s face unprecedented challenges with memory loss and caregiving. But here’s where reunions become especially precious—they can, for a short time, reawaken parts of ourselves we thought were gone. They stimulate dormant parts of our brain that only resonate with specific music, smells, tastes, or rituals.
How to Create New Traditions While Honoring Old Ones
Long-standing reunions thrive on ritual. College reunions have their gathering of classes, evening events, campus tours, and moments honoring those who’ve passed. These familiar “tent poles” hold the event together, but so do other, less formal encounters. Having Zoom-rooms where folks can drop in or sharing brief video reels/TikToks can be a creative way to bring people together who may not be able to physically join in the fun.
Here are some additional suggestions for being inclusive:
- Tag attendees and video events, then post on a reunion page on your favorite social media platform
- Create a shared digital photo album beforehand so folks can upload from their own collections
- Put together reunion merch-packages with reunion memorabilia for those who can’t make it
- Record key stories and speeches to share later
Use Memory Triggers Strategically
Want to really spark connections? Set up these memory boosters:
- Photo displays arranged chronologically through your shared years
- Use music playlists from when music was really great
- Recreate spaces if possible (like setting up a dorm room corner with period-appropriate items)
- Smell and taste triggers—serve foods that were popular during your time together
A Note of Caution
It is all too common to rely on others to do all the organizing, but it is essential to make sure you document all the specifics needed in case your go-to organizing gurus need substitutes or replacing.
It’s especially important to ask and understand the “why” behind existing traditions. This cements the legacy and acknowledges the rich history these traditions bring to the gathering and to future gatherings.
The Real Magic of Reunions
Whether it’s a family gathering, college reunion, or getting together with old friends, these events aren’t just about nostalgia—they’re about connection, identity, and continuity. They remind us of who we were, help us understand who we’ve become, and sometimes point toward a new dimension of our self that wasn’t around when we first met.
This is like going to a memory gym: we’re not just reminiscing—we’re actively nurturing the parts of ourselves that only come alive in the company of people who knew us when.
Let’s Get Together!
So here’s my challenge to you: Don’t wait for someone else to organize that reunion you’ve been thinking about. Start with a simple text to one old friend. Plan that family gathering. Reach out to your former classmates. The memories you create—and reawaken—just might be more essential to your future well-being than you realize.
After all, in a world that often feels disconnected, reunions remind us that we belong to something larger than ourselves. And that’s a feeling worth creating, over and over again.