I like to imagine what the first of my ancestors did during these long, cold nights. Which one of them had the patience and awareness to notice that night turned to day differently, and then had the memory sufficient to track it?

I suspect she was considered a bit of an odd duck, but later was held in awe for her powers to predict the return of the light. If the traits have been handed down genetically, my yearning for lingering sunlight and dread of darkness lasting too long came from her. Maybe I should also include the oddness and attention to details that others overlook!

Predictability

I have a strong preference for predictability. It balances my anxiety that things will change and I won’t be able to adapt. So, Winter and Summer Solstice have become benchmarks for me.

In spite of all the crazy things that make up the minutiae of daily life, the seasonal promise of lengthening days replaced by lengthening nights opens the space for these changes to be ones I can manage. There is time to adjust.

Time Speeds Up with Aging

There is universal acknowledgement that time speeds by as we age. Comments like “Wasn’t that just yesterday?” or “Is it that time of year already?” frequently prompt conversations about what things were like when we were younger. Summer vacation seemed to last forever. Christmas took too long to arrive. School dragged on and on.

Then we got older. Holidays and celebrations became our turns to host once we started careers and had families. These gatherings marked the passage not just of the holidays, but of the expansion and contraction of our families, as siblings and cousins added branches to the family tree and parents and grandparents died off.

In this acceleration of years, Solstice offers something steady—a celestial metronome that keeps the same rhythm even as my perception of time changes. It reminds me that some things remain constant, even when everything else rushes past.

Initiating Traditions

I wonder which of my ancestors decided that moving huge blocks of stone over land and stacking them one on top of another in a circle just so we could capture sunrise was a good idea. And which one actually organized the crew that needed to get this all done?

I wonder what motivation these peoples had to keep up the hard work, and whether the sense of accomplishment when it was done was joyful and triumphant or just, “Thank God that’s over with!”

Someone had to decide to return again and again. Someone had to remember the incantations, the ritual tools and prayers. Someone had to bring everyone together and create the traditions that would be handed down generation after generation. I wonder who that was?

Wonderment

When did the magic of the sun rising between the boulders in response to the entreaties and prayers become common knowledge, no longer needing the incantations, replaced instead by the joyful anticipation of gathering and celebrating together at that special time of year?

Who was tasked with remembering? What has been forgotten?

Perhaps what’s been forgotten is simply this: that marking Solstice was never really about controlling the sun’s return, but about finding meaning in the darkness and trust in the inevitable turning of the wheel.

Solstice Celebrations

This ancient impulse to gather, to mark, to celebrate—I feel it too. I have come to appreciate Solstice more and more as I age. It feels more special to me than the now commercialized versions of Christmas. I am drawn to the more organic cycle of seasonal change.

My genetic roots are found in Celtic, Germanic, and Central European areas. I fantasize that my lineage contains at least one Druid Priestess. I have friends who are Wiccan, and I join vicariously in their lighting of bonfires and dancing through the night until the sun rises, once again.

Science and Mystery

I am a child of modernity, and I have an old soul. I learned early on about the earth’s rotation, orbits, our place in the solar system, and as yet unnamed galaxies. I take for granted the annual tilting toward and away from the sun of our planet’s core. I don’t worry that it will change.

The science of this mesmerizes me. The physics is beyond my ability to understand. The beauty of the systems so vast yet all connected inspires me.

This is where the mystery enters. I have created meaning from my understanding of the world. That meaning includes pictures from the Hubble spacecraft and descriptions of what Earth looks like from astronauts. It also includes the imagination of my ancestors who looked up at the same sky and gave names to the lights they saw in the firmament.

Somewhere in this expansive universe, I locate myself. And, for as long as I have been alive, this spot has been marked by the return of the light.

Before the Light Returns

The thing about Solstice is that while the light returns, darkness still lingers for some time. This feels particularly impactful this year.

The darkness invites introspection, and that is something we desperately need right now. We need to take the time to seek the light in the darkness that seems to swirl around so many of us.

As these days unfold, as the light lingers a bit more, may we discover courage and hope. May we set aside the darkness and hate that festers without sufficient light.

My Solstice Celebration

The lights my husband put up for Christmas years ago are still working. I have them on a timer, so that over the year, they come on earlier and earlier as we approach Solstice.

I keep them lit throughout the night on Solstice. This is my bonfire. Tomorrow I will put the timer back on and mark the moments of the sun’s return.

Wishing you a heartfelt return of the light. May we each find the light within us to reflect the light in each other.