This is an updated and edited version of a blog I wrote back in 2020. It is amazing to think of all that has happened in five years, from COVID to our current political challenges. Yet this holiday, so unique to our American mythology, transcends and offers a safe harbor at least for one day, from our current uncertainties. I give thanks for all of you who read my words and share in the gifts of giving that happen daily in our communities. These are the ties that bind us.

---

Thanksgivings are memorable for many different reasons. It’s not just the food that sticks in my memory, although there are lots of food memories associated with Thanksgiving. And it’s not the football, although I have become a reluctant supporter of those long-suffering Detroit Lions.

It’s not the weather, although I have travel stories about missed flights due to snow storms and delayed arrivals due to roads that are impassible due to ice or flooding that come to mind.

Nor is it the traditional recipes and table settings, although there is always a pull to bring out the good china and silver. No, what makes Thanksgiving memorable for me is family.

Who is “Family?”

Over the years, “family” has taken on different definitions ranging from my nuclear family (small), to my extended family (large), to friends and then my husband’s children and their children. When I was in college, it involved being taken in by Professor’s families, and when I was first on my own, sharing the meal with other “orphans” – friends and co-workers whose families were far away.

Who Is at the Table?

As I have grown older, the gatherings have included distributing meals to those who had no families, carving birds and readying plates for homeless folks. It now includes invitations from friends who are gracious in making a spot for me at their family gatherings.

Options have grown over the years to adapt to changing dietary needs and preferences. Tofurky has never quite caught on with me, and truth be told, I don’t miss the brussels sprouts. I prefer pecan pie to pumpkin, and still get a kick out of the appetizers including the sweet gherkins and black olives.

Rituals of the Day

My rituals of this holiday have changed over the years. It is required that I watch the Macy’s Day Parade first thing in the morning. I prefer the “old style” Macy’s Day Parade with emphasis on marching bands instead of lip-synced performances in front of the store. That is followed by a leisurely breakfast and then starting the meal prep.

When my husband was alive, football would be on the TV all day long. Since he died, however, I haven’t watched football at all.

Another tradition was making phone calls to relatives and friends to wish each other a Happy Thanksgiving and catch up on any new gossip or share some. It still is a favorite part of the holiday for me, but the list of who I call has shrunk over the years.

Thanksgiving, 2025

My memories this year remain happy, recalling the good food, loving family and friends. Memories are happy even for those who are no longer around. There is a poignancy in some of these — I miss my husband’s stuffing, my mother’s voice, and her chatty descriptions of her day, and I miss the focused busyness of preparing a special meal and having people over to share it.

I miss the feelings of security and predictability that celebrating Thanksgiving offers. What feels different this year reflects the times we are living in.

While I am blessed with ample food on my table and easy procurement of special things, I am deeply aware of the struggles faced by those whose circumstances force them to do things differently.

Similarly, while I am blessed with many friends and acquaintances, I am all too aware of those who are suffering because they cannot be with their loved ones or do not feel connected to a source of love.

Sadly, these feelings can be traced to the loss of trust in institutions and leaders that I once took for granted. It will take some time to re-establish faith and replace the political, economic, and climate-related uncertainty present in my daily life. But I do believe it can be done.

My New “Normal”

I am grateful for the many invitations I have received to join with folks at their Thanksgiving table, but I will be by myself this Thanksgiving out of choice. Because I have a lifetime of memories and deep and abiding connections with extraordinary friends and loved ones, living and dead, I will not be alone.

I have a sense of hope that springs from knowing that the collective vision and actions of good minds and hearts are working ceaselessly to reclaim our democracy and re-establish trust in our government.

For This and So Much More, I Give Thanks

I have faith that all peoples and nations will find ways to confront their difficulties and learn new and kinder ways to share in the bounty that is available if we just release our need to be right.

For this and so much more, I give thanks. Thank you again for being one of my readers. May my words continue to offer you nourishment and may you find peace, joy, and abundance at your table every day.

Happy Thanksgiving.