Logging Off: Preparing Your Online Legacy

Over the past month I have been trying to track down a friend who used to post regularly online. She had her own website, posted a wonderful weekly blog, shared lots of great information and then, suddenly, her posts stopped.

Now, I say “friend”, but technically, we were only connected online. I had never met her face-to-face, and had only occasionally sent an email to her. So, I didn’t have much to go on in terms of figuring out why she wasn’t posting, other than what I could see online. So, I kept returning to her website in the hopes that there would be an explanation for her no longer posting.

As a Devoted Mystery Reader . . .

I admit to having a problem with loose ends. Rational explanations that the website was down, my friend didn’t know how to clear her voicemail box and my emails were in SPAM somewhere, should have been enough to calm my unease. But my Sue-Grafton-murder-mystery-mind all too easily went to dead bodies buried in shallow graves.

While murder was unlikely, I really wanted to know one way or the other what was going on! In my attempts to solve this mystery, I went online to see if there was an obituary notice to be found. None.

I also tried calling. The message on her phone indicated “The mailbox is full and cannot accept any new messages at this time.” I also tried emails. Nothing. After these attempts resulted in no answers, however, I was no closer to finding out what happened Which leaves me in an uncomfortable limbo of not knowing and not having a way of confirming what I suspect is my friend’s death.

Living in a Different World

This whole thing has made me realize how important it is to have a plan of succession for handling my online presence in terms of my social media accounts. It became very clear to me that I have an obligation to my readers (however loyal or sporadic) to inform them when I pass or when I am unable to continue.

Just as there are procedures to follow in handling testamentary affairs, including publishing a notice of death, there are procedures you can follow in posting your change from “present” to “absent” online. These, however, are not all that easy to access and definitely need some forethought.

In the Event of my Death

I began this process by taking a look at my Will and Trust, but this time to make sure that my Executor/Trustee had some technical savvy! I then took an inventory of my internet/social media presence. This proved much more challenging than I initially expected.

Here is a sample of places I show up: my website, Facebook, LinkedIn, Indeed, Upwork, professional associations, alumni associations, and volunteer groups.

Then there are the subsidiaries of each of these groups. For example, the website hosting service, the email distribution platform, all the ancillary services involved in registration of the name of the website and licensing.

The Tedious Tasks of Death

By rights, my Executor/Trustee will have the responsibility of closing all this down after I am gone. This is but one in a long line of tasks expected of this person, so it is really important that you have a conversation BEFORE you die and let him/her/them know what all they are getting into!

One essential thing to know is that not all entities will accept copies of documents like a death certificate; they may require originals. It is a good idea to order extra ones (there is a fee for this!) to have some on hand.

So here is what I am doing. I have created a “how-to” booklet that goes over what online accounts I have, all my passwords, and special instructions to handle closing down my online presence, including my website and social media accounts.

These all share some general procedures, so you can use the following as a guideline, but do check to see what specifically is expected on your various sites.

Word Press

To notify WordPress.com about a deceased site owner, email them at passwordhelp@wordpress.com and include the following:

• site owner’s name or e-mail address for the account (if known),
• the URL/site address
• a brief explanation of the situation, and the desired action for the site (making it private or transferring it to another owner) in your message

You could also transfer ownership to another account. To do that attach:

• A copy of the deceased site owner’s death certificate
• A legal document (power of attorney, will or trust) stating your authority to act on behalf of the deceased, or
• a signed, notarized statement

This notarized statement should include:

• Your first and last name
• Your current contact information
• Your email address
• Your relationship with the deceased site owner
• The action you’re requesting (e.g., “Gain access to the account.”)

Steps To Take While Above the Ground

I have already created a “In Memoriam” page for my WordPress site. I have instructions on how to publish it so online search engines will open to that page, and so my Executor can have a bit of a breather before closing the website down.

Other Social Media Platforms: Facebook, Instagram, X (previously Twitter), TikTok

Everybody is sorry for your loss. Having established that, how do you remove any footprint of having existed on social media? Well, each of these platforms has some specific requirements, as well as shared ones. Regardless of the platform, your Executor/Trustee must have online access and that means knowing your passwords. They will need to have proof of your demise (a death certificate).

Instagram and Facebook are both Meta platforms, and their process and requirements are the same. Here is what they would like you to do.

How To Leave Facebook/Instagram: A Primer for Meta

Meta needs two things: proof that you have authority to act (a Will or Trust) and proof of death (a death certificate). You will also need passwords. A death certificate is a legal document. Ordering certified originals can be costly, but it is worth it. Depending on where you live and where your loved one died, you may need to wait for a certified original to be provided, which is why it is a good idea (if possible) to ask for these at the time of death. But, if you don’t have a death certificate, not to worry.

Meta also accepts the following documents as proof . . .

Proof of authority:

• Power of attorney
• Birth certificate (in cases where the deceased is a minor)
• Last will and testament
• Estate letter

Proof of death:

• Obituary
• Memorial card

Meta adds the following helpful information: Note: The information on the documentation you provide must match the information on your loved one’s account. When submitting documentation, please cover up any personal information we don’t need to fulfill your request (example: Social Security number).

While Meta is very sorry for your loss, it may take them a while to review all this stuff, so you will need to be persistent and patient!

“X” (Previously Twitter)

Twitter has a bit more complicated process. You can find the steps here. As with Meta, you will need proof of authority to act and proof of death.

TikTok

If you are on TikTok and you die, they do not have any process for memorializing or shutting down your account. According to the website makeuseof.com, it is incumbent on your Executor to take steps to secure the account. You can find how to do that here.

Depending on whether or not you mind someone having access to all your cute TikTok antics long after you have died, the fact that you do not have a say should be of concern. This is especially true in our current Wild West mentality with AI.

Living Forever or Tidying Up

Of course, you can just ignore all of this and leave your social media accounts to linger, in perpetuity. I prefer to tie up the loose ends and bring my story to a conclusion.